FUNNY ABOUT FEAR

I find fascination at the center of fear,
A thrill in the knotted stomach, the sweaty palms.
I think, “Aha! I knew this was going to happen to me someday.”
And that strikes me as funny.


Laughter pulls my mind back from irrationality.
Blood pumps into my paralyzed limbs.
I draw upon what I know, what I can do to respond to the crisis,
And that strikes me as wonderful.

Thus begins Chapter 6 of Passage: Illness as Initiation. It's ready. I'm ready.
 
The quote in the poem is from a Gilda Radner movie, when she and Gene Wilder's character were flying over the Grand Canyon in a small plane and the pilot dies of a heart attack. First came adamant denial, "He's not dead." When G.W. said, "I knew this was going to happen to me someday," I laughed till I hurt. And the thing about humor: it is, like God, at the heart of everything.